Down all the time

S has been off work for these last two weeks and I've been off for this last week. Most of the time I've been in a Down I think. Definately not terribly happy but not really sad either. Last week I had to work a lot of overtime and had very little sleep so I was mucho Cranky. I expected to be in a better mood this week but I really didn't want the week off work. I took it off because S kept going on and on about family time and time for us. He wanted me to take two weeks so I compromised on just the one week. Now I'll feel icky going back to work on Monday. I'll have to sort out my department and figure out what's different from when I was last in. I really hate that. I am my father's daughter and have a supremely strong work ethic. I don't call in sick or take personal days, and I've discovered I don't like vacation time either.

So I've been a little off kilter all week. What would have made a stunning vacation would have been some time completely to myself. Days where I could shop or walk or wander around a mall or festival. Instead S was with me (my boys are visiting S's family for a week in another city - so no kids around) and he hates leaving the house. Even if he comes for a walk with me he likes it to be short.

I did get my boys' rooms painted though. One is soothing blue and the other is screaming orange. They chose the colors. I just couldn't do nothing all week, I needed a project to keep me busy.

I called my doctor's office to get an appointment to refill my lithium and was told she's booked for the day. She changed the way she makes appointments, she doesn't book them in advance any more, you just call that morning and see if you can get in that day. Well, they start taking calls at 9 am and my dr was booked by 908 am. At least she had the requisition for the blood work faxed to a nearby lab and will have the refills called in to the pharmacy. But if the dr can't take the time to see me, will she actually read the blood results? And I wanted to get my blood pressure checked as well. Who will do that now?

I wish I was cheery again.