On an Angry?

I think I was average again today, but tired.

Living without caffiene is more difficult than I thought. Coke was always my go-to thing if I was tired or needed a pick-up. Now I can't have any at all. Ok, I can have a couple of tiny sips before I show the signs of dehydration. Now I have to live my life with a good amount of sleep all the time. You'd think that would be easy but it's not. S gets home at around the time I used to go to bed so I like to stay up and talk to him. So then I need an afternoon nap and that doesn't alway work out.

The weight gain is also an issue. I feel very fat. Last time I weighed myself I was 163 lbs and I'm only 4'11"! I know it's not the end of the world to be overweight but I really hate it.

Maybe I should look into the other treatments for bipolar.

Today I was just raw. I had no compassion for people at all. One girl at work was sick and I really believe she was faking it to get out of staying for the full day. Actually, any day I'd say that about this one girl, but normally I'd be able to hide it or soften the thought a little. I also had no consideration for another coworker. She could have used my help with something so I deliberately adjusted my speed to make it so I couldn't help her. Again, I wouldn't have done that task anyway (she told me for the last three days she wants to pawn it off on someone else) but I would have been a bit kinder.

So am I on an Angry? Is that part of bipolar? It's when I firmly believe I am right and the world must conform to my opinion. Where I will have entire arguements in my head about a topic that may never come up. Where I am unable to hide or soften how I feel about someone that I'm currently dealing with. This is when I appear abrasive, blunt and unkind. I think it's a big reason why I don't have very many friends and for a long time the lithium seemed to take care of it. The question is: do I feel this way because I'm tired or is it a bipolar thing?