Nicely Up

Today I didn't start out feeling wonderful and actually thought the Up was leaving. I feel happier now, rested and content with the world. The sun is a definate asset, warming my skin and making the world smell good :) I would have to say I'm still Up, but not severely. Just extra-happy :)

I did drive downtown to run an errand and briefly wondered what it would be like to just pick up my stuff and move to a completely different city. I wanted to know what it would be like to start everything new. Then I remembered I have two kids and a boyfriend so it wouldn't be as easy as I think to just pick up and go. And it's not like I'm dissatisfied here or anything, I like the city I'm in, I like the house I live in, I enjoy my job....I just have an inkling every now and again to live a much less rigid life. To travel to somewhere new and live there for a while, until I'm ready to move to the next location.

This feeling doesn't come often.....well, actually, it comes in the summer never in the winter. Maybe because in the summer I feel like anything is possible, that the world is open to me and available for me to try whatever suits me. In the winter I feel suffocated and in some way glad that I have routines to follow to get through the day. In the winter my whole existence is to just get things done, go to bed, get up, get things done, etc. I have little joy during that time. And where I live, winter is the longest season. Maybe I should move my family to somewhere that's warm and sunny most of the time. Or I could wait until my boys have lives of their own outside my home and then move. Or just live with the icky winter and celebrate the spring and summer. For now I'll just wait and see how I feel with the lithium, see if it changes this next winter for me.