Still Up

Today I am still happy....but not too happy :) I like this stage of things quite a lot. Not too Down and not too Up, but on the Up side for sure. I get babbly when I'm here, all talky and chatty.

I did miss my family today. Thinking about why I removed them from my life. Well, not all of them, just two in particular (and two as a result of the original two). I had to force myself to remember why I didn't want them around anymore. My younger sister said I was a bitch all the time and refused to even listen to anything I said the last time we were together. My two sisters get along very well it seems, but not with me. And I'm just coming to realize that my childhood was abusive and it's rather difficult to get over.

That's one definate disadvantage to being in an Up, I forget what or who has hurt me in the past and jump back in with both feet. Then I come back to normal and regret my actions but don't know how to correct it all.