Peaking Up

All right, I have to admit it, I'm definately at the peak of an Up. I was waaaaaay too happy at work and even found myself encouraging a co-worker to have an affair with a man she only just found out likes her. Now, I don't cheat on whoever I'm with and I don't condone cheating at all. Yet here I was talking to her and finding all the good and exciting reasons an affair is just what she needs to do. Later I realized what I did and went back to her to give her all the reasons she should absolutely not cheat on her man. And even told her that the reason I think she should try something with this other man was because I'd never seen her beam so much when talking about the man she's living with, instead she always looked pinched and stressed when talking about him. Today she was just glowing and perky when talking about this other guy.

I know I make bad decisions and have poor judgement when I go too far Up. I know this can damage relationships. I know I justify my behaviour with inane reasons that don't make any sense. And I know that when I come down and get closer to normal I breathe a sigh of relief that I didn't act out anything really bad. So. I know I need to adjust my lithium dosage to stop myself from getting too far Up. I will. Really. But first I want to cycle once or twice more and keep track in this blog. That way I can track how my behaviour is and have a record to look back on to see how long and severe each Up and Down is. Then I will change my medication.