So very normal

Again, normal normal normal. I was happy at times and a bit sad at times. A bit irritated at times and a bit tired at times. It actually seemed as if my emotions were in response to what was actually happening around me. I am definately not used to this. I am used to feeling good no matter what and feeling horrible no matter what. So now I feel like I did as an early teenager. Although even then I can say that I was unreasonably grumpy or depressed, but that could easily be from living with my Borderline mother and not feeling like I was able to develop my own identity. Anyway. Normal today.

Not one single donation has come in for the Weekend. Not one. My younger sister lashed out at me for even asking. Ok, we had an arguement months ago that hadn't been resolved and the donation email was my first contact with her for a while. But I thought maybe she'd at least donate because our sister has breast cancer in her bones. My parents refuse to donate, my mom says they need to save money for my dad's retirement next year and she is unhappy with the way the donation money was used (some of it had to go towards funding the event, my mom thought it should all go to the charity, but really, how can an organization put such a huge event on without funding?). My sister with cancer called to say it might be unreasonable to expect people to donate again, it would tap them a bit dry. My aunt is in a care facility to recover after surgery so she probably hasn't even looked at her email. Oh yeah - and she's recovering from surgery so I don't expect anything from her. So my family won't support me in my efforts to do something positive for my sister's cancer. What kind of whacked family do I have? I would think most families would support their members in positive endeavors. I am going to provide a better family environment that this for my boys.

I did talk to S about his game last night. Much was resolved, but some questions linger. Like - if he says we are allowed to have separate activities/hobbies, then why do I have to be home for his? Why is it disruptive or wrong to go out to some event, the library, the mall, a movie or something when he plays his game? I have no objection to the computer game except that it seemed to suck up all of his attention like it used to do for my ex. Also, something about the idea that S is talking to the other players on a headset really bothers me. I don't really understand why, but it does. So my solution is to just make time for his game that's mostly scheduled so I can plan another activity. There really are some things I'd like to do that S doesn't really want to participate in anyway so I don't see why this won't work out. But S doesn't seem to like the idea at all, or he didn't last night. He wants to have separate hobbies but not in separate locations. I will need to ask him to clarify this a bit. It was getting late last night to talk about all of this, so maybe tonight we can cover some more ground on it.